Only Failure
by Gorillaz Latin fan
Summary: Mikey overheard what his brothers said about him. Is he really useless and only a burden to the family? What if Mikey believes them and what does he intend to do about it?( thank to my beta Free as the Birds )
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The three oldest turtles were in the living room after a battle with the Foot. Leo was the first to speak. "Mikey have gone too far, guys. He can't focus and he's a burden to this group."

"I agree with you, Leo." Raph said.

"Mikey is so useless; sometimes I wish he's not my brother. He's a failure as a brother and a ninja. Maybe kicking him out of the group is the best solution for us." Donnie said.

Leo and Raph nodded in agreement. None of them knew that their little brother had heard everything that they said.

-(Page break)-

Michelangelo woke up from his nightmare and found himself in a dark and spooky place. He tried to move but his wrists and ankles were restrained by chains. A small stream of blood flowed from the corner of his mouth, running down his jaw line and dripping onto the floor. He closed his eyes and tried to hold back his tears. Deep cuts and endless gashes covered his arms and legs. He was in pain physically and emotionally.

Mikey remembered the guy who captured him. He said that Mikey was going to make him a rich man. The guy shot him with a tranquillizer dart gun, making him woozy and unable to defend himself from the rain of blows that descended on him soon after.

Mikey's POV

Why did I run away from home? Oh yeah, I remember now. My so called family hates me. I know sometimes I am a pain in the shell, but I'm just trying to make them smile as we were outcasts and only had each other. Why did they say all those things about me: useless, weak, failure, a burden. Maybe they were right; I am nothing but trouble. I guess that's why I left home in the first place. I was an easy target and now I have lost everything: my home, my family and my freedom.

Oh man, I don't feel too good. My headache is getting worse. I'm feeling dizzy and my eyes feel like it's on fire. Maybe this is due to the tranquilizer that guy gave me or the amount of blood I lost. Hey, why is every going dark again? I feel like I'm going to pass out or close to death. Maybe next time I wake up, I'd be in heaven. I know you guys won't miss me, but I'll miss you, bros. Darkness overtook me again and the last thing I heard was someone yelling my name.

-(Page Break)-

In my world of darkness I heard a faint voice call me. I can't understand what they're saying, but the voice sounded familiar. I tried to focus on the voice and slowly it became stronger and clearer.

"Mikey?" Donnie's voice penetrated through the fog of my mind. I hummed tiredly in response.

"Come on, bro, wake up," Leo encouraged with a note of stress in his voice. "Open your eyes."

I whined and squeezed my eyes even tighter.

"Open those baby blue eyes right now, knucklehead." Raph growled.

With a groan, I slowly peeled my eyelids open and looked up fuzzily at my three brothers. I am home. But what happened? I was in that dark and creepy cell only a few moments ago.

"My son, you have been in a coma for the past two weeks. I'm glad you're back, little one." My father said, putting a gentle paw on my forehead. He continued to tell me what happened after they found me hurt and bleeding in that room.

"We were so worried that we were going to lose you due to the blood loss and the infection from your wounds." Donnie added.

"What happened to that guy that caught me?" Mikey questioned, asking the question that was bugging him ever since he woke up.

"Don't worry about that guy, Mikey. Pops gave him a lesson he'll never forget. He's never going to hurt you again." Raph replied with a big grin on his face.

"Mikey, why did you run away like that? We were so worried when we found out you got captured by that wacko. It scared us how close you were to never waking up again." Leo said with a distressed look on his face.

"Guys, I'm sorry and you're right about me being a burden to this group. I know I cause so much trouble for my family. I am useless, weak and a failure as a ninja too. That why I left in the first place as I don't deserve to be part of this group."

"You're not a burden or a failure, my son." My father told me, resting a paw on my shoulder.

Raph glared at me threateningly. "Baby bro, you're not going to leave again. Not now, not ever, you got that?"

"Mikey, I'm so sorry I don't want to lose the only little brother I have." Donnie said.

I looked down at my hands. They're just saying that, aren't they?

"Mikey, we- no, I'm sorry for saying all those things. I let my anger get to me. You have so much raw talent and have the potential to be a better ninja than me, but it's just that you never focus. I don't know what to say, baby bro, I've never felt so scared in my life. Almost losing you made me realize that you're the glue that keeps this family together." Leo said.

Mikey shook his head. "No, Leo, you're right. I'm useless and a burden to this family, you guys would be better off without me."

"Michelangelo, stop talking like that." My father reprimanded sternly. "We'll talk about this later. For now, I want you to rest."

"Yes, father." I lay back down, closed my eyes and let sleep overtake me once more. A sleep I didn't want to wake up from. I want the darkness to take me away so that I won't be a burden to my family anymore. In my mind, there's only one choice for me now: dying.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
Leo POV  
I can't believe this happened to my baby brother. This is all my fault! Why did I say all those things about Mikey?! Mikey can be a bit of a pest sometimes, but he always make us happy. He's the only one who can make me laugh and make me stop training to enjoy life. Without Mikey, I'd never know about Space Heroes, my favorite show. Now he's so sad; I never thought I'd see Mikey this way. I'm worried that I'm going to lose my baby brother again.

I walked back to the med lab to bring Mikey a nice warm bowl of noodle soup with a bottle of water.  
"Hey baby bro, how are you feeling?"  
"I'm fine." Mikey replied, turning his head to look at me. He doesn't even sound like himself.  
"Here, Mikey, I brought you something to eat. I know how hungry you get sometimes." I said, putting the tray on the table by his bedside.  
"I'm not hungry." Mikey grunted, crossing his arms.  
My jaw almost hit the floor in shock as Mikey was always hungry. Even if he was sick he'd keep his appetite up. This is not right, not right at all.  
"Are you okay, Mikey? You look depressed."  
"I'm fine." Mikey repeated, sounding like a pre-recorded message on the T-phone.  
"Mikey, you're definitely not 'fine'. You look sad. I'm worried, Mikey. Please tell me what's wrong, I want to help you."  
"JUST LEAVE ALONE, LEO, I SAID I'M FINE!" Mikey yelled.

Startled by the outburst, I instinctively took a step back.  
Mikey hid under his covers and mumbled in a calmer and subdued voice, "Leo, please, just go. I want to be alone."  
I sighed. "Okay, Mikey. I'll come back later to check up on you." I never felt so helpless in my life. How can I help Mikey if he doesn't want me to help him? I don't even know what's wrong with him. I can only hope that he'd get better soon.  
-(Page Break)-

Donnie POV

I went to check on Mikey's vitals and change his bandages. I'm still worried that he will get an infection from those wounds. It's also scary how much weight he lost in such a short period of time. I can already see the outline of his bones.  
Mikey's once bright blue eyes have now turned dull and gray. Leo told me that Mikey didn't want any food. What's wrong with you, Mikey? I wish I could do more to help you.  
Mikey is the only one that can pull me away from my work and make sure that I eat. When I'm working on something important late in the night, Mikey would bring me a pot of coffee to keep me awake. It's true that he can also be a bit of a handful at times, especially when he's bored and would annoy me and the others, but his bright and cheery personality can lift my moods even when I'm down in the dumps. I miss the times when Mikey was goofing around and how he likes to name all off my inventions. But most importantly, I miss his jokes, smiles and laughter. I really want Mikey to be back to his old self again. But what more I can do for him?  
For first time in my life I don't have an answer, and that scares me. How am I going to help my only little brother? I hate this, I hate myself! Why did I say all those things about Mikey?! All the things we said are lies. Mikey is a great ninja and he's an even better brother to us. Oh, Mikey please be okay and get better soon; we can't afford to lose you again. The pain that comes with it would be too high for us to bear.

Raph POV  
A few days ago, my baby brother woke up from his coma. With each passing day, Mikey's still not getting better. Actually, I think he's getting worst. He had stopped eating and talking. For all of my life, I'd always wanted Mikey to shut up, but now I miss hearing his voice and laughter.  
I miss his pranks, his cooking, and his hugs. I miss the old Mikey. But what can I do? Even the fearless leader and egghead have no clue what to do. For once in my life, I am scared of losing Mikey forever. The only thing I can do is take my fear and anger out on the punching bag.  
"Mikey, I beg you, please don't give up! All of us are here for you, me included."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Splinter POV  
The pain of losing my daughter Miwa is still in my heart after so many years. When my sons came to my life, they helped me heal, especially little Michelangelo. Having my sons help me deal with the pain gave me hope. Now I fear to lose my youngest son to a mistake my older sons made.  
My three oldest sons are guilty of what they said; they have broken their promise to always protect the baby of the family. Leonardo blames himself of all the pain they caused their baby brother.  
When Michelangelo was a tot, he was always the first to fall sick and the last to recover. Sometimes I fear losing them to sickness, but Michelangelo never gives up even in sickness and always tries to keep up with the others.  
I am extremely protective of all my sons, especially my youngest son, Michelangelo. We're outcasts living in the shadows of the enemy. What is a father to do when his child feels like he is a burden to his family?

Mikey POV  
I am the only failure  
My family will be better off without me  
I am the only failure  
Worst ninja in history  
I am the only failure  
Not a good son or brother  
I am the only failure  
I cause nothing but trouble  
I am the only failure  
They always yell at me  
I am the only failure  
Who needs me?  
I am the only failure  
No one needs me  
I am only failure  
Only in death will I stop being a failure to my family.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
Mikey POV  
Tonight is the night it will all end.  
I will stop being a burden, loser and failure.  
My family is better without me  
My brothers were right about me  
I am a failure

I am the worst brother, ninja and son in the world  
This is the only thing I can do right  
To leave and never return  
Who knows, maybe the other side is a place where I can be happy again

I cleaned my room and packed everything I have into boxes. Now my family can use my room. It's the least I could do after everything they have done for me.  
I'm scared. I'm really scared. Is what I'm going to do the right thing to do? I paused, then quickly cleared my mind of all doubt. Yes, this is the right thing to do.

Leo's the oldest. He's a natural leader and the perfect son.  
Raph's the second oldest. He's basically made of pure muscle and is not scared of anything (except maybe bugs).  
Donnie is the third oldest. He's a genius and a gentle brother.  
Then there's me, Mikey, the youngest. I'm careless, stupid, useless and a failure.

I sighed morosely and left a note on the table. The piece of paper only contained one word: Goodbye.  
I guess it's time to go. I did a last sweeping glance over my room before shuffling out the door.  
End Mikey's POV

Mikey walked into the bathroom and turned on the taps in the bathtub, letting it run for a while. He opened the bathroom cabinet and took out an old serrated kunai cleverly hidden in the top right corner.

He leaned over the bathtub and fell into the water, not caring anymore. He cried a little as he took the kunai blade up again and looked at his reflection on the blade.  
"It's better this way." Mikey heaved out between sobs. He ran the blade along his wrist, cutting in deep. Blood started dripping into the water and onto the floor as the water started to overflow from the tub. He started turning pale as he cut more onto his wrists, going as deep as he could.

Mikey soon found himself very dizzy and tired. He dropped the kunai onto the floor and closed his eyes. Mikey's breathing had also started to slow down along with his heartbeat. He smiled weakly as a bright light filled the inside of his eyes. He finally did it. Now he won't be a burden to his family anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
Splinter POV  
I woke up in the middle of night feeling that something was not right. I feared that my youngest son is in danger. I sprang out of bed and ran out of my room, searching for my son. My ears perked up as it picked up the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. I quickly changed directions, scurrying across the hallways.

When I entered the bathroom, I saw that the lights were on, but there was no one there. Frowning slightly, I turned to the source of the running water, which could only come from the bathtub. I walked over to the bathtub and my heart nearly stopped with what I saw. The water was stained with a dark shade of red. And beneath the red-stained water, at the bottom of the bathtub, lay my motionless son.

"Michelangelo!" I exclaimed in shock before swiftly pulling the turtle out of the water. I immediately checked his pulse the moment I settled him on the floor. Fortunately, I felt a pulse, it was weak, but he was still alive, for now.

"My beloved Michelangelo!" I cried out, clutching my son's hand tightly. That was when I noticed that there were deep cuts on his wrists and arms; most of them still bleeding. I pulled his head close to my chest, "Oh, my son, what have you done to yourself?"

"Don't worry, your father's here now." I whispered to the unconscious turtle. "You'll be fine. Please, Michelangelo, my son, don't die. I…I can't lose another child." I grabbed a bath towel from the rack and tore it into two pieces. I wrapped it tightly around Michelangelo's wrists to stop the bleeding.

Suddenly, the bathroom door slammed open and Leonardo burst into the room. He must have felt that something was amiss as well.  
"Father, what is going on?!" My oldest son demanded, eye widening in horror when he saw that his baby brother was hurt.  
"Get Donatello and meet me at the med lab." I instructed in a voice of forced calm. "Hurry, Leonardo, we can't afford to waste time. Every second counts."  
Leonardo nodded and dashed out of the bathroom in search of the genius of the family. Donatello is the only hope Michelangelo has. If Donatello can't help Michelangelo, I don't know what we'll do. I gathered my youngest son up in my arms and ran to the med lab, praying that it was not too late to save him.

Donatello POV

I was sleeping deeply and peacefully when my oldest brother burst into my room screaming my name.  
"Leo, for goodness sake! What?!" I yelled at him, irritated at being woken up in such a manner.  
The only words that Leo managed to gasped out was: "Sensei. Bathroom. Mikey. Bleeding. Med lab. Hurry!"  
-(Page Break)-  
Leo and I rushed to the med lab. When I entered the lab, I saw my baby brother bleeding on the examination table. I almost lost it and freaked out, but I have to keep my mind clear in order to help Mikey. I requested Father and Leo to leave me alone to work on Mikey. I saw fear and sadness in my father's eyes before he left the med lab. I have never seen him this way before. He looked like he was going to have a heart attack if we lose Mikey.  
Stop thinking like that, I berated to myself internally. Mikey's going to live and we will help him get better. However, inside I was screaming: Don't die, Mikey! We need you little brother.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Raph POV

I woke up with a really bad feeling. We can sense when danger is in the air, for example if someone was hurt or worst. Walking to the living room, I saw Father and Leo on the couch. As I moved closer, I got a good look of their faces. I saw sadness, worry, guilt and despair. Their eyes were red and puffy, so I knew they have been crying.

"L-leo, F-father, wh-what's going on?" I stuttered in fear and apprehension.

My father looked at me and tried to say something, but instead he started crying. I looked on in shock. My father looked as if he was going to have a mental breakdown.

Leo stepped in and answered my question on our father's behalf, "Our baby brother tried to kill himself. Donnie's in the med lab trying to save him."

Those words felt like a stab to my heart. Our baby brother. Our light. Our smile. Trying to end his life. My anger and pain was so intense that I lost it. I started to scream and break everything in sight. After my rampage, I broke down and cried for my baby brother. I wish he was safe and next to me so that I can hug him and apologize for not being a good brother and friend. I'm sorry for every bad thing I ever did to him; yelling, hitting, name calling and more.

Out of nowhere, my father hugged me, telling me everything will be okay; our baby brother is strong. This is the only time I hugged my father back, after all, I am the tough guy of the family. But now, I'm scared. What will happen to Mikey? I have never felt so weak and helpless in my life.

-(Page Break)-

Leo POV

I've never seen Raph this way before. He looks so heartbroken as I watch our father try to comfort him. We can't lose hope; Mikey will be fine. Mikey will heal physically and emotionally. Then everything will go back to normal. Mikey will be cracking jokes, annoying us, just being good old Mikey.

There's still no word about Mikey's condition. I'm really scared about whatever's happening in the med lab. What if Mikey dies? I slapped myself mentally for thinking that.

Suddenly, the med lab's door opened and the purple banded turtle stepped out, his head hung low.

"Mikey is stable. I gave him something to help with the pain, but he is in a coma due to the amount of blood he lost." Donnie managed to say before collapsing to the ground.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Splinter POV

I can't believe what's happening to my youngest son; he's in a coma again. This nightmare cannot be happening. Donatello had collapsed from shock. To see his little brother in such a state was too much for him. I gathered my smartest son into my arms and laid him on the sofa so that he could get some rest.

"Leonardo, Raphael, watch over Donatello." I instructed. "I will be in the in med lab with Michelangelo."

Upon entering the med lab, I immediately felt sick seeing my son so pale and lifeless. I am distraught by the fact that the cheeriest of my son, the one that always bring joy to our life, has lost his way. I pulled a chair near the bed and sat next to Michelangelo, gripping my son's hand tightly.

I sighed, "Oh, my son, why did you do this to yourself?"

I remembered the day I lost my wife and baby girl. The battle with my former friend Oroku Saki was one of the hardest battles I've ever fought in my life. But even though I gave it my all in the fight, I still lost my wife and daughter. A few months later, my pet turtles were mutated into humanoid baby turtles while I was mutated into a rat. I started a new life by adopting the four baby mutant turtles and taking a new name, Splinter.

Now, I'm scared of the prospect that I might lose my youngest son, Michelangelo. I won't be able to handle it if that happens, I just can't.

(If there's anyone out there, please help my son, please, we can't lose him.)

This family will fall apart without our light. I started to break down, praying for someone, anyone, to save my son.

-(Page Break)-

Mikey POV

I am alone in the darkness

I am scared, so scared

Fear is consuming me

But this is where I belong

Alone, where I won't bother my family

Alone, where I wouldn't make mistakes on missions

Break Donnie's machines

Hit Raph with water balloons

Disturb Leo during his meditation

I wouldn't see Father's disappointed face

Whenever I do something wrong

This is the place where I belong

In the Darkness

"You do not belong in this place; you need to go back to your family, little one." A sweet and warm voice whispered in my ear.

"Who are you?! You know nothing about me!" I shouted, "Besides, my family don't need me. I'm only...a…failure."

"But I do know about you, my sweet little baby, Michelangelo. And I am here to help you and guide you back home." The voice answered.

"My family would be better off without me. No one would be there to bother them with corny jokes and pranks every day. How would you know me anyway?! I've never seen or heard you in my life!" I retorted.

"I know you very well, my son. I saw how you got mutated, take your first step, say your first word and your training as a ninja. You make everyone around you smile and you can bring out the sun even on the darkest of days. I am the Hamato's angel guide, but you can call me Mother if you like."

A beautiful woman with long black hair stepped out of the shadows and approached me. She was wearing a kimono with blue, red, purple and orange colors splashed across it.

"My son, you do not belong here. You need to go." The woman said, enveloping me in hug.

"But mother, my family would be better off without me. No one needs me." I cried, clinging to the woman.

"I'm going to show you something, my son. Close your eyes." I nodded, obeying the order given.

After a few seconds passed, the woman instructed. "You can open your eyes now."

I slowly cracked my eyes open. I looked around and realized that I was in the med lab.

"But, how? I-I thought that I-"

The woman interrupted gently. "Listen to me, little one. You have been in a coma for a month."

"Coma?!" I thought that I was dead, but no, I was in a coma. Well, that's just great.

"Please open your mind and listen to your brothers and father, my son. You are a very strong turtle and I believe you can make yourself through this." The woman said before fading away, leaving me alone in the room.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

In the Med Lab

Mikey watched his body resting peacefully on the bed. Donnie was sitting next to Mikey's bed, checking his brother's vitals and taking notes.

Donnie's POV

"Hey Mikey, how are you feeling? I know you can't answer me right now, but I…I miss you, little brother. We all do. I can't believe you'd try to..." I stopped and sighed, "I can't say this is your fault, Mikey. It was ours; we treated you badly. I wish I could do more, but all my machines say that your vitals are fine. So why are you still in a coma? Please don't give up, Mikey; we can help you to heal. I love you, baby brother." I took Mikey's hand and squeezed it tightly, hoping Mikey would squeeze back.

Raph's POV

I entered the lab and saw Donnie holding Mikey hand like it was his last lifeline. It broke my heart to see Donnie like this. All of us were wearing thin. How could we help Mikey if couldn't even help ourselves? And what if Mikey never wakes up? What will happen to our family? Wait a minute, what am I thinking?! Of course Mikey will wake up. He WILL wake up and he WILL get better.

"Hey Donnie, I'm going to stay with Mikey. You need to rest, bro, you look exhausted. Don't worry, if something happens, I will get you." I added as Donnie opened his mouth to protest.

Donnie nodded reluctantly. He stood up and looked over his shoulder one last time before heading to his room to get some sleep. I crouched down beside Mikey's bed and stared at my little brother's face.

"Well Mikey, what can say? I'm scared, Mikey, really scared. I've never felt so scared in my life. I remember once, when we were little, you told me that I was your hero. What kind of hero hurts his baby brother and calls him names? Mikey, you're our sunshine; you light up our lives just by being your happy self. I'm sorry I failed you, for not being there for you. Please come back to us, Mikey, I promise I'll be a better brother." I whispered as I tried to suppress a sob that threatened to rose in my throat. It didn't work; big fat tears started streaming down my face. I didn't bother trying to wipe them away; my main focus was on Mikey. I laid my head on Mikey's bed and closed my eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Leo's POV

"Raph." I called to my brother, who was resting on his knees with his head on Mikey's bed. That didn't look too comfortable, I thought. He jerked in surprise, blinking at me sleepily. "It's my turn to watch over Mikey. You should go to your room to get some sleep."

Raph got up and passed me wordlessly. I caught a glimpse of dried tear stains on his face. I felt my heart twist in discomfort, Raph rarely cried, even when he was little. This shows how bad the situation is, how torn up Raph is over this.

"Hey Mikey, it's me, Leo. I-I need to tell you something. Do you remember the fight with the Foot clan? You were great out there; you took all of them out by yourself and rescued us. I was mad that I led us to a trap. I let my anger out on you because I felt useless that I wasn't able to do anything.

What kind of brother am I to make you feel like a failure? You're not a failure, Mikey, I am. I'm supposed to be the leader, the eldest, so all of you are my responsibility. I should have known you were feeling depressed and suicidal. This is my fault, Mikey. You're a brave ninja, good son and a wonderful baby brother. I swear, Mikey, if you die, I will kill myself just to be with you. I really want you back, Mikey, I-no, WE can't live without you."

Splinter's POV

Leonardo was talking to my youngest son when I came into the lab. Our family is going through a rough time. I wish I could do more to help all of them.

"My son, it is late, it is time for you to go to bed." I told him, putting a paw on his shoulder.

"Sorry, Father." He said, not meeting my eye. He still blames himself for all this, I thought with a heavy sigh.

After Leonardo left the lab, I turned to my youngest son. "Michelangelo, you need to wake up and return to us. This family is falling apart without you."

Mikey's POV

Shell, what I have done to my family?

"Guys, I'm so sorry. I want to go home! Mother, please send me back home! My family needs me!"

Mother suddenly appeared and smiled at me.

Mother's POV

"Good, now you see the truth, my son. Your family loves you and they would do anything for you. It is time for you to return home. Never, EVER do something like this again. If you do, I'll raise you from the dead just to send you back, you got it?" I threatened, half-playful and half-serious.

He laughed and flashed me a thousand watt smile. It made me happy to see that smile on his face again.

"Close your eyes on the count of three." I instructed. "One…, two…, three!"

TBC


End file.
